Hey Taylor! I love the start of your site. The first story you posted, “Storytime with Samael,” was very interesting. I love the direction you’re taking your website, and I can’t wait to see where you go with this and temptation’s effect on life. Your references to God and Adam and Eve were super interesting, and I love how you talked about “your” many kids! The sinister take you put on this story is interesting. One idea for the future could be to make this evil character do good, which would be really out of the ordinary. In this particular story, I agree that your last two paragraphs could be further described. The dialogue included is good, but could continue even further. One idea would be to say why this evil character got to be the way he is. Additionally, maybe a lead in to the next story in the final paragraph by saying where/who he is off to go tempt. All around, great job!
Hi Taylor! First of all, I love the title of your website! It definitely caught my attention right from the start. I am going to spend most of this feedback focusing on some of the aspects of your website because I already commented on "Storytime with Samuel". One thing that I think would benefit your homepage of your website is to add a little background information. This could be one sentence or a couple of sentences. An example of this would be "This is a storybook for Mythology and Folklore class at the University of Oklahoma." I think this will help viewers not be confused when navigating your site. One wow moment is that your header picture goes hand in hand with the title of your website which I thought was very creative. When I think of bedtime and sleeping, I often think about the moon and starts. Overall, great job on making this site. I am looking forward to see what it becomes in the future!
I really like that you decided to use 'Bedtime Stories' theme. I think that is really clever and leaves a lot of doors open for you to be as creative as you would like.
Your story is excellent! I love the image you posted. It really relates to your story nicely. I also like your usage of the word "Smokin'". To me that is hilarious and I actually cracker up at that part. I wonder what would happen if you changed how your quotes are set up to be more separate where the reader could identify them a little more. I love dialogue so I always connect with characters statements in stories. What if you changed the ending to show how its not the end but the story continues? Just an idea. It might change how the story plays out.
Overall, great website and story. I am looking forward to reading the rest of stories and seeing your project!! Thanks for sharing!
Hey Taylor! Loved the first story on your website, as well as the bedtime story theme. The character that you built up for Samael was great and hilarious, and to be honest I'm kind of disappointed that we won't see any more of him or his sons (unless you find a way to squeeze him into other stories!). The little jokes were well-interspersed through the whole story and gave it a lot of flavor. You mentioned in the author's note that you were having trouble with the word count. I think if you were going to tighten it up anywhere, you might start with the first few paragraphs. I think that they're really important for establishing Samael's character and backstory, but cutting down a little there has the added benefit of getting the reader into the meat of your story a little quicker. Overall, this was a really enjoyable read and I'm excited to get another bedtime story!
Hey there Taylor. You have done a really good job getting your site going. I'm impressed at how smoothly everything works on it, good job. Your story is amazing and I really like the picture you decided to add to go with it. I love how you talked about “your” many kids! The sinister take you put on this story is interesting. One idea for the future could be to make this evil character do good, which would be really out of the ordinary. Overall I'm really impressed at how well you are doing. Keep up the good work.
I truly enjoyed reading your first story. You did a wonderful job of making Samael a snarky and humorous character; I definitely caught the inspiration from Deadpool! I agree with Dakota in that I would love to see Samael reappear and grow as a character. Perhaps he improves as a father figure, or brings some of the wrath of the Lord upon himself. I would especially love to read a story that involves conflict between Samael and a human who is smarter and more pious than Adam and Eve. Without Samael reappearing, I'm curious to learn if your stories will have any overarching connection other than "Bedtime Stories." I feel that bedtime stories is an incredibly broad category that can be tightened up a bit, but if you are writing a Portfolio rather than a Storybook, this may not be such a problem. Regardless, I look forward to reading more of your work in the future!
Hi Taylor! First of all, I loved your cover page with the small introduction that you provided. I especially liked that you told it in a way as if you were speaking to someone. Also, the youtube video of the campfire added a nice touch to the story night feel. As for your story about Samael, I really enjoyed reading it. I can see where you got the inspiration from Deadpool, because I almost felt a similar dialogue that was present in that film. While your story about Samael was long, it didn't feel that way at all. I kept reading your story, wanting to know how everything tied together. In your header about Samael, I liked that your background and the picture of samael gave a dark feel to your page. I also enjoyed the dialogue that you used in the story, it was very informal which made the story easier to read. I look forward to reading other parts of your portfolio and seeing other "bedtime" stories that you have to offer. Good job on your first story!
I loved the first page of you portfolio! You're short introduction telling us to grab a drink and rest was really creative and set the overall mood for your project! I also thought the addition of the campfire youtube video was really clever and made me feel like I was sitting down in front of the fire to listen to some folktalkes!
Your first story about Samael was one that I had previously read in another week so I was familiar with it. I enjoyed the changes you made however. I thought the addition of the P.S. where he says that his wife is going to kill him was a nice touch as one of my questions after reading your original story was how his wife/children would react to the situation. I'm still wondering however if samael himselg was upset at all? Great work!
I initially clicked on your story because of its title! Bedtime stories? I was interested in what they might be. But wow! Your home page is so amazing! I haven't seen one that had anything on it besides what is required of it. Is that because it is a portfolio instead of a storybook? I love the idea of a nice little fire going while I get to hear some bedtime stories. Then I clicked on the first story! Holy smokes! I love that it is written in first person perspective. This archangel is quite humorous and I love his tone. He is like "yeah i might be evil but like.... my life is hella dope" which I love. The part where the apple is actually a grape made me laugh. And when he said his wife is smokin... oh my gosh. I need more. I basically want to comment on everything, but I can only say so much.. okay one more thing. I love that his children are all named after him! And he has like a million of them. I am not actually familiar with this story, but you did a great job keeping me entertained.
Hey Taylor! Wow, your portfolio is very entertaining! I loved your story about Samael - it was really nicely written and it immediately drew me in! I kept wanting to read more. I like that your story was told in first person, because it definitely makes readers much more engaged that way. Your author's note really cleared up any questions I had, because I hadn't read the original story. Any confusion I had at the beginning was gone by the end of your story. I like how you incorporated Samael's demonic nature with his duty to serve God at the same time, because it seemed to have worked pretty well! I also thought it was super interesting that you included an audio version of this story into your page. I don't think I've ever seen that before, so that was definitely cool! Good luck with the rest of your portfolio! I can't wait to read the rest :)
Hi Taylor, Your story is awesome. I genuinely enjoyed reading this! I love the whit and creative style you gave the narrator. I smiled the whole time I was reading because of how clever and funny it all became. I loved at the beginning when you incorporated how God gives us choices, and evil is there to test and tempt us. You discuss free will in such a simple and idealistic way that works so well with the rest of your story. The story of Adam and Eve was interesting as well. I like how you kept those same characters, but perceived them in the light of the tempter, and then changed how they were punished, and what they were punished for. Great job coming up with all of this, I can't wait to read what else you write!
Hey Taylor. You have done a really good job getting your site going. I'm impressed at how smoothly everything works on it, good job! Your portfolio is also very entertaining and very well designed. I love the idea of a nice little fire going while I get to hear some bedtime stories. As for your story about Samael, I really enjoyed reading it. I can't wait to read your next work! Keep up the good work!
Hi Taylor, First of all, I just want to say that I love your overall theme. I really like the cover photos for both your home page and the introductions. The most unique part of your storybook that I have not seen with the others is your additions to each page. The first page has a video of a virtual campfire, which is so perfect to fit your theme! Then for the Samael part, I really loved how you put the recording of your story. I am not that creative - I thought that is awesome. Your Samael story was written really good. I really liked the grammar and writing style that you used. It was very easy to understand and follow along with. The background information was also a really helpful addition for people that do not know a lot about the story and history of it. Overall, really great job!
I came back this week to see where you were going to take your story. Based on the first story, I was sure that this was going to be another wit-filled adventure. Instead, I was met with a sad little story about a person would is just so desperately lonely and heartbroken. You did a great job conveying that desperation. She keeps hoping these people will stay even though she knows it is futile. It makes me so sad! She surely has a heart of gold, however, because she never makes them stay with her, no matter how desperate and lonely she is. She thinks about doing so, but she never does. I was hoping the story would end with Otohime getting to live her years out with someone, someone who stuck around, but perhaps she is being punished and this is her fate. It might even be better this way, to know that not all people get a happy ending. Anyways, great job this week! I saw that an audio reading of your first story was posted! That is so cool. Will there be one at some point for this story too?
Hey Taylor! I absolutely love that you added a video of a campfire. I would never have thought about doing that and it pleases me so much. I also like that you used the night sky as your background on your storybook. You also added a sound cloud clip to your first story. You have definitely accomplished standing out from the crowd. This is unlike any others I have seen so far and we are halfway through the semester. I like the casual tone of voice you used in the Samael story. There are a few grammar issues that I noticed. If you go back and proofread, I am sure you will figure it out on your own. I am excited to read your completed project.
HI Taylor! I really liked the addition of the campfire video! It really sets the mood and got me ready to read! The background photo of the night sky was also a nice touch. I liked how you changed the original story to tell Otohime's side of it. The addition of other people, regardless of gender, who passed . by really makes her loneliness stand out. I was wondering if what was in the box was every completely explained? Does it represent lost time like in the original story or something else in your rendition? Lastly, adding some details on the setting of the underwater palace would really help establish the setting. I also noticed you added an audio file of the first story which is so awesome! The crackling fireplace in the background is perfectly placed. This is definitely a unique idea and I am very curious how you pulled it off! Awesome stories and I look forward to reading more!
Hey Taylor. You're storybook is so different, starting out with the narrator greeting us for a bedtime story. I really like the direction you are taking. The first story really took me by surprise. Samael is well-developed and you give him so much character. He is witty and comedic, and he has a really strong active voice. It really keeps one interested and compelled throughout the story. I enjoyed reading it immensely because it was so casual and humorous. The audio-link was a great touch! It made the story so much more interactive and it was well-done via the tone of voice and way it was read. My (basically only) issue is that the paragraphs look sort've chunky. It could be better to add in some more dialogue but I understand that might be hard with the audio-link. Maybe dividing the paragraphs into smaller ones might help the look. (Also, with dialogue, there should be a new paragraph anytime someone starts speaking.) You have done a great job and I can't wait to see more.
Hi Taylor! First off, as I am sure every other person has said, I really like the introduction to your website. It is beautifully done and simple, and since your concept is so intuitive it does not need a huge introduction. I like that your narrator is ambiguous, and the language you use is very soothing (it made me sleepy!). So great job on that. So for your first story I love your writing, it is so funny and there is so much personality to the voice you had for Samael. It was a super easy read, and it made a story that is so well known super interesting by honing in on a part that I for one had never heard of. Your writing is fantastic and I love your storybook already, I would not change a single thing about it. Great job I cannot wait to read all the rest of your stories!
Seeing as I am from the Indian Epic Class, I really think your project is really good. It easy to follow and it really engages the reader. Great Job!! I also really like the fact that you have put sounds into your project. It adds a flare to the project that not a lot of other projects have. It is really unique.
I think your stories are well written and a enjoyable to read. I also like the images you chose to use. They are vivid and they really grabbed my attention. The only thing that I may change is maybe add some more vibrant colors to the overall project. I realize that bedtime stories is the theme, but I think a little color may help to engage the reader more. Overall, your project is great and i plan on checking in later to see how your project is progressing. Good luck!!
Alas, Taylor, I am here again for the third time. I seriously just love reading your portfolio. Your third story is quite amazing! As I was reading it, I found it to be quite familiar, like I have read it before already. I forgot that I already read it when it was first posted for a weekly story, so I was going a little nuts trying to figure out why I have seen it before. Anyways, I will say the same kind of thing as I have said before. This story is great! I really appreciate that it is written as a casual letter to a friend. The language is easy to follow and there is just a touch of humor to it. The author of the letter is clearly just in shock and exasperated by the whole situation. I love it! Then he ends it by asking about the family as if this wasn't a weird little story to just be talking about casually. As always, your stories are amazing.
I really like the theme of your project. The darkness on the website along with the inclusion of the campfire audio combined to create a wonderful reading experience. I listened to Samael’s story and read the rest. The inclusion of the audio recording was a wonderful idea, and above expectations! The dialogue for Samael really built a character for him that I felt was consistent throughout the story. It was very interesting relearning about the Adam and Eve story from a different perspective.
Regarding the Amten story, it was very fitting to have the narrator reading the letter. It felt kind of like a story in a story. It is always intriguing to read stories where people are rewarded for their cleverness and cunning, despite the questionable natures of their actions. It is very rare to see this result in real life, which I feel makes the story unique and enjoyable.
Taylor, It's nice to check back in with your project and read your two most recent stories! I love that you continue to put the crackling fire youtube video for visual and auditory effect. It is really nice!
Your story Amten was really great. In your author's note you mentioned how you wanted to make your story shorted and I think you were able to do that very well and still tell a great story. I like that you kept the basic storyline the same but changed it up by changing the point of view. Writing your story as a letter, from one friend to another was really clever and gave it a nice light-hearted feel. I was glad to see that the mystery was solved! Great work!
Hey Taylor! I like the theme of your project and think that it will work really well. I think that your website works perfectly with it and really helps sell the vibe of your project. I love the fact that you included a video on the front page and your intro sets it up perfectly. I love your audio clips and how they work to set the mood of the stories. They are so interesting and spooky, and as a person who loves podcasts, I love this aspect of your project. Your stories are easy to follow and I love the writing. Everything just works together well to make it all a cohesive project. Each story is its own but also fits into the larger idea. I think that overall you're doing great! I hope to read and hear more from you in the future.
Hi Taylor, this is my second time visiting your story! I love the way you have your website set up! I really enjoyed your story about Otohime. I felt so lonely and sad for her. She reminded me of the Beast from Beauty and the Beast because she lets the love of her life leave her. Your portfolio is unique because all of your stories have a dark twist in them or an element that is unexpected. I think that you have done a great job with putting together a portfolio that is cohesive and carries the same tone throughout. While each tale can definitely stand alone, these stories flow together really nicely. Your story about Amten had a nice dose of irony with the pharaoh letting the thief marry his daughter. I love little ironic twists like that. Great job with your stories and I look forward to seeing your finished product!
Hi Taylor! I’m from the Indian Epics class, but your storybook caught my eye. I really LOVED your first story. Samael’s personality is so fun and well-done. The prideful attitude can be overdone easily, but I think you perfected it. The only thing I wondered about was how Samael knew so easily that Adam and Eve had eaten his child. I think it might have been better to have Sammy speaking to him from their stomachs and then have him make the realization. Your second story was haunting and sad but also beautiful. I was confused as to why you gave Shiori a name since she didn’t seem to be a main character. Since she was described in more detail, I thought she was going to be a key character. I really liked the idea of sneaky and talented thieves. I don’t blame the pharaoh though. I’d want someone that skilled on my side not pitted against me! Very nice job with your project!!
Hi Taylor! I got to choose a storybook/portfolio and I picked yours because who doesn’t like bedtime stories? And I was not disappointed. I open up your webpage to find a video of a campfire and it definitely set the tone for the whole portfolio. I think it would have been cool if the video would have been playing to start, but I do not know if you can do that haha. I really enjoyed all of your stories, you did such a great job retelling them from their original stories and while creating a whole new story that focused on one thing like you did in the first story. The stories where such great bedtime stories. I really liked how you changed who you focused on in the second story, it was just such a beautiful and telling story. I think that your portfolio has come along well and that you are doing a great job with it.
Hello Taylor! I just want to start by saying I have never heard the original of your most recent story, Pygmalion, before. As I was reading it, it felt like I was reading it the way it was intended or how it would originally be written. According to your author's note, you put in an effort to have the same tone and vocabulary as the original and I think you did a wonderful job. Without knowing how the story originally went, I was unsure what you could have possibly changed! I think your decision to spin this story into a moral tale was a wise one. For some reason, these Greek and Roman myths are always kind of creepy. It is always men chasing women with some disturbing outcome like instant marriage or rape. Your protagonist deserved what he got. He wanted more than his talent could give him and it drove him nuts. Great job!
Taylor, What a neat website! I love all of the creative details and additions you put on your site. I think it is so fun that you added a campfire video for readers to see when they visit your homepage! Your first story in your portfolio, "Samael," is a little bit creepy in my opinion. However, I really like how you use a fun type of writing style to provide some comedic relief. I like how you describe your inspiration came a little bit from Deadpool because when I read your author's note and learned how Deadpool inspired you, I then looked back over the story and definitely noticed the connection and the reason you added that comedic relief (I love Deadpool and I did end up rereading the story and hearing Deadpool's voice narratoring it in my head lol) I really enjoyed this story, and aweosome job with you project!
Hi Taylor, I have read some of your storybook before and enjoyed it so I am happy to come back and see how it has progressed. I am going to focus on your last story since that is the one that is new to me. I love the Pygmalion story, so I am excited to see you included it in your storybook. I think your writing in this story is beautiful, and really portrays his feelings for the statue. It was also slightly different than the original and I enjoyed those changes. One thing I will add is for people who have not read the original, you might add why Pygmalion hated women. What was the corruption that he saw? The ending your provided was really excellent, because that is the only way that he would stop loving her, is if he saw that she was not this prized woman that he had dreamt of. This was an excellent addition and ending to your storybook and I am so glad I got to read it
First of all, fantastic web page design! I think yours is the first project that I have seen that has included an embedded video in the pages. It adds quite a bit to the whole aesthetic of your project! The home page introduction paragraph sets the tone for the storybook very well too. The Samuel story was fantastic! The narrative was very interesting and exciting to follow! Also the SoundCloud link you embedded in the page was phenomenal. I would never have thought to have a voice-over narrating the story for the readers! You credited the narration to Kyle McCarver and just wanted to say that he did an amazing job with it! The whole thing felt very atmospheric and added a lot to the story. Using different backgrounds for each page was a good call as well. It made each story feel distinct from each other and was an amazing read!
I really love your website. The entire idea of your storybook is really clever. Having them as campfire tales means you can choose pretty much any story to tell. All of your stories are very good, but my favorite one is Samael. I have never read the original version of the story, but I used to watch Supernatural, so I recognized the name Lilith. The recording from the SoundCloud link is awesome and such a great idea! I thought about doing this for one of my stories, but ran into some issues uploading it and gave up. Your writing in Samael is great. You wrote the story in such a way that I can immediately picture Samael reading this. I enjoyed your other stories, as well. You have a talent for writing and it is easy to see that you put a lot of work into this project. Wonderful job!
Hey Taylor!
ReplyDeleteI love the start of your site. The first story you posted, “Storytime with Samael,” was very interesting. I love the direction you’re taking your website, and I can’t wait to see where you go with this and temptation’s effect on life. Your references to God and Adam and Eve were super interesting, and I love how you talked about “your” many kids! The sinister take you put on this story is interesting. One idea for the future could be to make this evil character do good, which would be really out of the ordinary. In this particular story, I agree that your last two paragraphs could be further described. The dialogue included is good, but could continue even further. One idea would be to say why this evil character got to be the way he is. Additionally, maybe a lead in to the next story in the final paragraph by saying where/who he is off to go tempt. All around, great job!
Hi Taylor! First of all, I love the title of your website! It definitely caught my attention right from the start. I am going to spend most of this feedback focusing on some of the aspects of your website because I already commented on "Storytime with Samuel". One thing that I think would benefit your homepage of your website is to add a little background information. This could be one sentence or a couple of sentences. An example of this would be "This is a storybook for Mythology and Folklore class at the University of Oklahoma." I think this will help viewers not be confused when navigating your site. One wow moment is that your header picture goes hand in hand with the title of your website which I thought was very creative. When I think of bedtime and sleeping, I often think about the moon and starts. Overall, great job on making this site. I am looking forward to see what it becomes in the future!
ReplyDeleteHey Taylor!
ReplyDeleteI really like that you decided to use 'Bedtime Stories' theme. I think that is really clever and leaves a lot of doors open for you to be as creative as you would like.
Your story is excellent! I love the image you posted. It really relates to your story nicely. I also like your usage of the word "Smokin'". To me that is hilarious and I actually cracker up at that part. I wonder what would happen if you changed how your quotes are set up to be more separate where the reader could identify them a little more. I love dialogue so I always connect with characters statements in stories. What if you changed the ending to show how its not the end but the story continues? Just an idea. It might change how the story plays out.
Overall, great website and story. I am looking forward to reading the rest of stories and seeing your project!! Thanks for sharing!
Hey Taylor! Loved the first story on your website, as well as the bedtime story theme. The character that you built up for Samael was great and hilarious, and to be honest I'm kind of disappointed that we won't see any more of him or his sons (unless you find a way to squeeze him into other stories!). The little jokes were well-interspersed through the whole story and gave it a lot of flavor. You mentioned in the author's note that you were having trouble with the word count. I think if you were going to tighten it up anywhere, you might start with the first few paragraphs. I think that they're really important for establishing Samael's character and backstory, but cutting down a little there has the added benefit of getting the reader into the meat of your story a little quicker. Overall, this was a really enjoyable read and I'm excited to get another bedtime story!
ReplyDeleteHey there Taylor. You have done a really good job getting your site going. I'm impressed at how smoothly everything works on it, good job. Your story is amazing and I really like the picture you decided to add to go with it. I love how you talked about “your” many kids! The sinister take you put on this story is interesting. One idea for the future could be to make this evil character do good, which would be really out of the ordinary. Overall I'm really impressed at how well you are doing. Keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteHi, Taylor!
ReplyDeleteI truly enjoyed reading your first story. You did a wonderful job of making Samael a snarky and humorous character; I definitely caught the inspiration from Deadpool! I agree with Dakota in that I would love to see Samael reappear and grow as a character. Perhaps he improves as a father figure, or brings some of the wrath of the Lord upon himself. I would especially love to read a story that involves conflict between Samael and a human who is smarter and more pious than Adam and Eve. Without Samael reappearing, I'm curious to learn if your stories will have any overarching connection other than "Bedtime Stories." I feel that bedtime stories is an incredibly broad category that can be tightened up a bit, but if you are writing a Portfolio rather than a Storybook, this may not be such a problem. Regardless, I look forward to reading more of your work in the future!
Hi Taylor!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I loved your cover page with the small introduction that you provided. I especially liked that you told it in a way as if you were speaking to someone. Also, the youtube video of the campfire added a nice touch to the story night feel. As for your story about Samael, I really enjoyed reading it. I can see where you got the inspiration from Deadpool, because I almost felt a similar dialogue that was present in that film.
While your story about Samael was long, it didn't feel that way at all. I kept reading your story, wanting to know how everything tied together. In your header about Samael, I liked that your background and the picture of samael gave a dark feel to your page.
I also enjoyed the dialogue that you used in the story, it was very informal which made the story easier to read. I look forward to reading other parts of your portfolio and seeing other "bedtime" stories that you have to offer. Good job on your first story!
Hi Taylor!
ReplyDeleteI loved the first page of you portfolio! You're short introduction telling us to grab a drink and rest was really creative and set the overall mood for your project! I also thought the addition of the campfire youtube video was really clever and made me feel like I was sitting down in front of the fire to listen to some folktalkes!
Your first story about Samael was one that I had previously read in another week so I was familiar with it. I enjoyed the changes you made however. I thought the addition of the P.S. where he says that his wife is going to kill him was a nice touch as one of my questions after reading your original story was how his wife/children would react to the situation. I'm still wondering however if samael himselg was upset at all?
Great work!
I initially clicked on your story because of its title! Bedtime stories? I was interested in what they might be. But wow! Your home page is so amazing! I haven't seen one that had anything on it besides what is required of it. Is that because it is a portfolio instead of a storybook? I love the idea of a nice little fire going while I get to hear some bedtime stories. Then I clicked on the first story! Holy smokes! I love that it is written in first person perspective. This archangel is quite humorous and I love his tone. He is like "yeah i might be evil but like.... my life is hella dope" which I love. The part where the apple is actually a grape made me laugh. And when he said his wife is smokin... oh my gosh. I need more. I basically want to comment on everything, but I can only say so much.. okay one more thing. I love that his children are all named after him! And he has like a million of them. I am not actually familiar with this story, but you did a great job keeping me entertained.
ReplyDeleteHey Taylor! Wow, your portfolio is very entertaining! I loved your story about Samael - it was really nicely written and it immediately drew me in! I kept wanting to read more. I like that your story was told in first person, because it definitely makes readers much more engaged that way. Your author's note really cleared up any questions I had, because I hadn't read the original story. Any confusion I had at the beginning was gone by the end of your story. I like how you incorporated Samael's demonic nature with his duty to serve God at the same time, because it seemed to have worked pretty well! I also thought it was super interesting that you included an audio version of this story into your page. I don't think I've ever seen that before, so that was definitely cool! Good luck with the rest of your portfolio! I can't wait to read the rest :)
ReplyDeleteHi Taylor,
ReplyDeleteYour story is awesome. I genuinely enjoyed reading this! I love the whit and creative style you gave the narrator. I smiled the whole time I was reading because of how clever and funny it all became. I loved at the beginning when you incorporated how God gives us choices, and evil is there to test and tempt us. You discuss free will in such a simple and idealistic way that works so well with the rest of your story.
The story of Adam and Eve was interesting as well. I like how you kept those same characters, but perceived them in the light of the tempter, and then changed how they were punished, and what they were punished for.
Great job coming up with all of this, I can't wait to read what else you write!
Hey Taylor. You have done a really good job getting your site going. I'm impressed at how smoothly everything works on it, good job! Your portfolio is also very entertaining and very well designed. I love the idea of a nice little fire going while I get to hear some bedtime stories. As for your story about Samael, I really enjoyed reading it. I can't wait to read your next work! Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHi Taylor,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I just want to say that I love your overall theme. I really like the cover photos for both your home page and the introductions. The most unique part of your storybook that I have not seen with the others is your additions to each page. The first page has a video of a virtual campfire, which is so perfect to fit your theme! Then for the Samael part, I really loved how you put the recording of your story. I am not that creative - I thought that is awesome. Your Samael story was written really good. I really liked the grammar and writing style that you used. It was very easy to understand and follow along with. The background information was also a really helpful addition for people that do not know a lot about the story and history of it. Overall, really great job!
I came back this week to see where you were going to take your story. Based on the first story, I was sure that this was going to be another wit-filled adventure. Instead, I was met with a sad little story about a person would is just so desperately lonely and heartbroken. You did a great job conveying that desperation. She keeps hoping these people will stay even though she knows it is futile. It makes me so sad! She surely has a heart of gold, however, because she never makes them stay with her, no matter how desperate and lonely she is. She thinks about doing so, but she never does. I was hoping the story would end with Otohime getting to live her years out with someone, someone who stuck around, but perhaps she is being punished and this is her fate. It might even be better this way, to know that not all people get a happy ending. Anyways, great job this week! I saw that an audio reading of your first story was posted! That is so cool. Will there be one at some point for this story too?
ReplyDeleteHey Taylor! I absolutely love that you added a video of a campfire. I would never have thought about doing that and it pleases me so much. I also like that you used the night sky as your background on your storybook. You also added a sound cloud clip to your first story. You have definitely accomplished standing out from the crowd. This is unlike any others I have seen so far and we are halfway through the semester. I like the casual tone of voice you used in the Samael story. There are a few grammar issues that I noticed. If you go back and proofread, I am sure you will figure it out on your own. I am excited to read your completed project.
ReplyDeleteHI Taylor! I really liked the addition of the campfire video! It really sets the mood and got me ready to read! The background photo of the night sky was also a nice touch. I liked how you changed the original story to tell Otohime's side of it. The addition of other people, regardless of gender, who passed . by really makes her loneliness stand out. I was wondering if what was in the box was every completely explained? Does it represent lost time like in the original story or something else in your rendition? Lastly, adding some details on the setting of the underwater palace would really help establish the setting. I also noticed you added an audio file of the first story which is so awesome! The crackling fireplace in the background is perfectly placed. This is definitely a unique idea and I am very curious how you pulled it off! Awesome stories and I look forward to reading more!
ReplyDeleteHey Taylor. You're storybook is so different, starting out with the narrator greeting us for a bedtime story. I really like the direction you are taking. The first story really took me by surprise. Samael is well-developed and you give him so much character. He is witty and comedic, and he has a really strong active voice. It really keeps one interested and compelled throughout the story. I enjoyed reading it immensely because it was so casual and humorous. The audio-link was a great touch! It made the story so much more interactive and it was well-done via the tone of voice and way it was read. My (basically only) issue is that the paragraphs look sort've chunky. It could be better to add in some more dialogue but I understand that might be hard with the audio-link. Maybe dividing the paragraphs into smaller ones might help the look. (Also, with dialogue, there should be a new paragraph anytime someone starts speaking.) You have done a great job and I can't wait to see more.
ReplyDeleteHi Taylor!
ReplyDeleteFirst off, as I am sure every other person has said, I really like the introduction to your website. It is beautifully done and simple, and since your concept is so intuitive it does not need a huge introduction. I like that your narrator is ambiguous, and the language you use is very soothing (it made me sleepy!). So great job on that. So for your first story I love your writing, it is so funny and there is so much personality to the voice you had for Samael. It was a super easy read, and it made a story that is so well known super interesting by honing in on a part that I for one had never heard of. Your writing is fantastic and I love your storybook already, I would not change a single thing about it. Great job I cannot wait to read all the rest of your stories!
Hey Taylor,
ReplyDeleteSeeing as I am from the Indian Epic Class, I really think your project is really good. It easy to follow and it really engages the reader. Great Job!! I also really like the fact that you have put sounds into your project. It adds a flare to the project that not a lot of other projects have. It is really unique.
I think your stories are well written and a enjoyable to read. I also like the images you chose to use. They are vivid and they really grabbed my attention. The only thing that I may change is maybe add some more vibrant colors to the overall project. I realize that bedtime stories is the theme, but I think a little color may help to engage the reader more. Overall, your project is great and i plan on checking in later to see how your project is progressing. Good luck!!
Alas, Taylor, I am here again for the third time. I seriously just love reading your portfolio. Your third story is quite amazing! As I was reading it, I found it to be quite familiar, like I have read it before already. I forgot that I already read it when it was first posted for a weekly story, so I was going a little nuts trying to figure out why I have seen it before. Anyways, I will say the same kind of thing as I have said before. This story is great! I really appreciate that it is written as a casual letter to a friend. The language is easy to follow and there is just a touch of humor to it. The author of the letter is clearly just in shock and exasperated by the whole situation. I love it! Then he ends it by asking about the family as if this wasn't a weird little story to just be talking about casually. As always, your stories are amazing.
ReplyDeleteHey Taylor,
ReplyDeleteI really like the theme of your project. The darkness on the website along with the inclusion of the campfire audio combined to create a wonderful reading experience. I listened to Samael’s story and read the rest. The inclusion of the audio recording was a wonderful idea, and above expectations! The dialogue for Samael really built a character for him that I felt was consistent throughout the story. It was very interesting relearning about the Adam and Eve story from a different perspective.
Regarding the Amten story, it was very fitting to have the narrator reading the letter. It felt kind of like a story in a story. It is always intriguing to read stories where people are rewarded for their cleverness and cunning, despite the questionable natures of their actions. It is very rare to see this result in real life, which I feel makes the story unique and enjoyable.
Overall, you project looks wonderful!
Taylor,
ReplyDeleteIt's nice to check back in with your project and read your two most recent stories! I love that you continue to put the crackling fire youtube video for visual and auditory effect. It is really nice!
Your story Amten was really great. In your author's note you mentioned how you wanted to make your story shorted and I think you were able to do that very well and still tell a great story. I like that you kept the basic storyline the same but changed it up by changing the point of view. Writing your story as a letter, from one friend to another was really clever and gave it a nice light-hearted feel. I was glad to see that the mystery was solved! Great work!
Hey Taylor! I like the theme of your project and think that it will work really well. I think that your website works perfectly with it and really helps sell the vibe of your project. I love the fact that you included a video on the front page and your intro sets it up perfectly. I love your audio clips and how they work to set the mood of the stories. They are so interesting and spooky, and as a person who loves podcasts, I love this aspect of your project. Your stories are easy to follow and I love the writing. Everything just works together well to make it all a cohesive project. Each story is its own but also fits into the larger idea. I think that overall you're doing great! I hope to read and hear more from you in the future.
ReplyDeleteHi Taylor, this is my second time visiting your story! I love the way you have your website set up! I really enjoyed your story about Otohime. I felt so lonely and sad for her. She reminded me of the Beast from Beauty and the Beast because she lets the love of her life leave her. Your portfolio is unique because all of your stories have a dark twist in them or an element that is unexpected. I think that you have done a great job with putting together a portfolio that is cohesive and carries the same tone throughout. While each tale can definitely stand alone, these stories flow together really nicely. Your story about Amten had a nice dose of irony with the pharaoh letting the thief marry his daughter. I love little ironic twists like that. Great job with your stories and I look forward to seeing your finished product!
ReplyDeleteHi Taylor! I’m from the Indian Epics class, but your storybook caught my eye. I really LOVED your first story. Samael’s personality is so fun and well-done. The prideful attitude can be overdone easily, but I think you perfected it. The only thing I wondered about was how Samael knew so easily that Adam and Eve had eaten his child. I think it might have been better to have Sammy speaking to him from their stomachs and then have him make the realization. Your second story was haunting and sad but also beautiful. I was confused as to why you gave Shiori a name since she didn’t seem to be a main character. Since she was described in more detail, I thought she was going to be a key character. I really liked the idea of sneaky and talented thieves. I don’t blame the pharaoh though. I’d want someone that skilled on my side not pitted against me! Very nice job with your project!!
ReplyDeleteHi Taylor! I got to choose a storybook/portfolio and I picked yours because who doesn’t like bedtime stories? And I was not disappointed. I open up your webpage to find a video of a campfire and it definitely set the tone for the whole portfolio. I think it would have been cool if the video would have been playing to start, but I do not know if you can do that haha. I really enjoyed all of your stories, you did such a great job retelling them from their original stories and while creating a whole new story that focused on one thing like you did in the first story. The stories where such great bedtime stories. I really liked how you changed who you focused on in the second story, it was just such a beautiful and telling story. I think that your portfolio has come along well and that you are doing a great job with it.
ReplyDeleteHello Taylor! I just want to start by saying I have never heard the original of your most recent story, Pygmalion, before. As I was reading it, it felt like I was reading it the way it was intended or how it would originally be written. According to your author's note, you put in an effort to have the same tone and vocabulary as the original and I think you did a wonderful job. Without knowing how the story originally went, I was unsure what you could have possibly changed! I think your decision to spin this story into a moral tale was a wise one. For some reason, these Greek and Roman myths are always kind of creepy. It is always men chasing women with some disturbing outcome like instant marriage or rape. Your protagonist deserved what he got. He wanted more than his talent could give him and it drove him nuts. Great job!
ReplyDeleteTaylor,
ReplyDeleteWhat a neat website! I love all of the creative details and additions you put on your site. I think it is so fun that you added a campfire video for readers to see when they visit your homepage! Your first story in your portfolio, "Samael," is a little bit creepy in my opinion. However, I really like how you use a fun type of writing style to provide some comedic relief. I like how you describe your inspiration came a little bit from Deadpool because when I read your author's note and learned how Deadpool inspired you, I then looked back over the story and definitely noticed the connection and the reason you added that comedic relief (I love Deadpool and I did end up rereading the story and hearing Deadpool's voice narratoring it in my head lol) I really enjoyed this story, and aweosome job with you project!
Hi Taylor,
ReplyDeleteI have read some of your storybook before and enjoyed it so I am happy to come back and see how it has progressed. I am going to focus on your last story since that is the one that is new to me. I love the Pygmalion story, so I am excited to see you included it in your storybook. I think your writing in this story is beautiful, and really portrays his feelings for the statue. It was also slightly different than the original and I enjoyed those changes. One thing I will add is for people who have not read the original, you might add why Pygmalion hated women. What was the corruption that he saw? The ending your provided was really excellent, because that is the only way that he would stop loving her, is if he saw that she was not this prized woman that he had dreamt of. This was an excellent addition and ending to your storybook and I am so glad I got to read it
Hey Taylor,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, fantastic web page design! I think yours is the first project that I have seen that has included an embedded video in the pages. It adds quite a bit to the whole aesthetic of your project! The home page introduction paragraph sets the tone for the storybook very well too. The Samuel story was fantastic! The narrative was very interesting and exciting to follow! Also the SoundCloud link you embedded in the page was phenomenal. I would never have thought to have a voice-over narrating the story for the readers! You credited the narration to Kyle McCarver and just wanted to say that he did an amazing job with it! The whole thing felt very atmospheric and added a lot to the story. Using different backgrounds for each page was a good call as well. It made each story feel distinct from each other and was an amazing read!
Hey Taylor,
ReplyDeleteI really love your website. The entire idea of your storybook is really clever. Having them as campfire tales means you can choose pretty much any story to tell. All of your stories are very good, but my favorite one is Samael. I have never read the original version of the story, but I used to watch Supernatural, so I recognized the name Lilith. The recording from the SoundCloud link is awesome and such a great idea! I thought about doing this for one of my stories, but ran into some issues uploading it and gave up. Your writing in Samael is great. You wrote the story in such a way that I can immediately picture Samael reading this. I enjoyed your other stories, as well. You have a talent for writing and it is easy to see that you put a lot of work into this project. Wonderful job!