Feedback Strategies

I was super behind last week and didn't get around to doing a post about my thoughts on feedback, so for this post one of my articles will be from last week's options.

For last week's article, I chose 5 Tips For Taking Feedback Like A Champ.

I found this article to be both helpful and relatable. I'm not very good at being uncomfortable, and I hate disappointing people. This goes all the way back to when I was four years old at a pre-pre-k program that was more than a daycare, but less than a school. I got in trouble for throwing rocks down the slide and felt so horrible about it that I tried to fake illness for the next two weeks because I couldn't bear to face my teachers after letting them down. I'm no longer quite so dramatic about it, but I still have trouble taking criticism sometimes. This article provides a good reminder that being uncomfortable isn't bad, but instead means you're growing, and that it would suck to not receive any critical feedback because that would mean you couldn't get any better. I also definitely struggle with taking criticism more personally than I should. Exposure has helped me a lot in that regard. Since I started working at my current job (OU IT), I've been evaluated at the end of every semester, and having that one-on-one with my boss where we talk about how I could do better has helped me not only to get used to both taking feedback as a useful road map for how I can improve, but to also be more self-critical.

For this week, I chose Try Feedforward Instead of Feedback.

Okay, so I really love this concept. I can get defensive and bogged down in wishing I could change the past when something I did wrong is criticized. It makes a lot more sense to me to focus on moving forward rather than dwelling on what's already happened. The future is malleable and full of possibilities, and when I think about it I feel capable, whereas when I think about the past I feel helpless. Not to mention, I always feel awkward telling people about a problem I had with something they did that they can't go back and change. The main times I'm in a position to give feedback are at work and in my relationship. At work, anonymous peer feedback is part of our evaluations, and I try to find positive things to mix in with any criticism I have. With my girlfriend, it can be more difficult, because usually when we're criticizing each other, we're hurt, so it's harder to let go of the past. I can see the feedfoward approach being enormously useful, however, because it provides concrete methods and goals rather than just a "this behavior bothers me, you should stop." It provides something new to reach for, rather than just something to avoid.

Feedforward. Source.