Taylor, I enjoyed the story, but in the future, you might want to devote a little more of your Author's Note to summarizing the story you're pulling from. Because I hadn't read the original tale, I felt that I missed out on a lot of context clues and plot points that may have better helped me to understand what was unique about your tale.
Haha this was awesome! I like that it is written as a letter. I noticed in your portfolio you also wrote in first person. I like these kind of stories best because they feel more personal when you read them. I can feel the exasperation from Fenuku oozing out of the page. He is just totally done with the situation. It caused everyone so much grief and then the guy just gets to marry the Pharaoh's daughter. It really gives off the feel of coworkers just chatting along. Hey Bill, how's the family? And all that. I really enjoyed it.
I really enjoyed this story. Changing the story from a third person narrative to a letter from one of the guards was ingenious. I would have never thought to do that. I might have to do that for one of my stories that I retell in the future. I also like how at the end you asked how who you are writing to is doing and that you want to hear his thoughts of the story.
Taylor, great job! I really enjoyed the creative approach you took to this story. I have always wanted to try writing a story in a letter format, but I have not had the chance to do it yet. Maybe I will next week! I really liked how you wrote this story with some of your own slang and really put some of your emotions into it. Overall, great job!
Hey Taylor! Great job on the story and keeping it short! I really liked the letter format of the story as it was casual and easy to read. I have considered adopting this format for a story and after seeing it executed so well I may try it next week! The character development was well done with such a short word count and it was overall enjoyable to read, great job!
Taylor, I enjoyed the story, but in the future, you might want to devote a little more of your Author's Note to summarizing the story you're pulling from. Because I hadn't read the original tale, I felt that I missed out on a lot of context clues and plot points that may have better helped me to understand what was unique about your tale.
ReplyDeleteHaha this was awesome! I like that it is written as a letter. I noticed in your portfolio you also wrote in first person. I like these kind of stories best because they feel more personal when you read them. I can feel the exasperation from Fenuku oozing out of the page. He is just totally done with the situation. It caused everyone so much grief and then the guy just gets to marry the Pharaoh's daughter. It really gives off the feel of coworkers just chatting along. Hey Bill, how's the family? And all that. I really enjoyed it.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this story. Changing the story from a third person narrative to a letter from one of the guards was ingenious. I would have never thought to do that. I might have to do that for one of my stories that I retell in the future. I also like how at the end you asked how who you are writing to is doing and that you want to hear his thoughts of the story.
ReplyDeleteTaylor, great job! I really enjoyed the creative approach you took to this story. I have always wanted to try writing a story in a letter format, but I have not had the chance to do it yet. Maybe I will next week! I really liked how you wrote this story with some of your own slang and really put some of your emotions into it. Overall, great job!
ReplyDeleteHey Taylor! Great job on the story and keeping it short! I really liked the letter format of the story as it was casual and easy to read. I have considered adopting this format for a story and after seeing it executed so well I may try it next week! The character development was well done with such a short word count and it was overall enjoyable to read, great job!
ReplyDelete